Mindfulness—Participating with Attention
What is mindfulness? It is purposely paying attention in the present moment without judgment (Kabat-Zinn, 1994).
It is about intentionally being aware of the present moment without judging your experience. It’s about paying attention to what is happening now (within you and around you) with a curious, friendly, open and accepting attitude. It’s hard to not judge something or to label something as good or bad, so be gentle with yourself. Mindfulness is the practice of noticing when you judge something and then coming back to your experience with openness.
Being present in the moment without judgment can help you increase your enjoyment of life and improve your mental health. It can increase your ability to cope with upsetting thoughts, anxiety, depression and insomnia (Dijk, 2012). Mindfulness, especially when focusing on being curious, friendly, open and accepting, will trigger positive feelings and help you feel good. It increases your self-awareness and can help you choose how to respond in situations, rather than be reactive.
Focusing on the present moment can decrease emotional pain. When we think about the past, we usually think of unpleasant things–things that people have done or said to us. Depressed feelings are often the result of reliving these past experiences and thinking about them. Thinking about the future is similar–we worry about the absolute worst thing that could happen, the what-ifs. We slip into the quagmire of catastrophizing. Anxiety is basically worrying about the future and then feeling as if those worst case scenarios are happening to us right now. Why not choose to direct our thoughts and ground ourselves in the present moment rather than dwelling in an unpleasant past or visualizing an apocalyptic future? We are missing out on life around us by obsessing and getting lost in the past or the future.
Mindfulness increases our awareness so we can catch ourselves when we start to sink into the past or some imagined future. You can start to recognize when your mind shifts gears out of the current moment and you start spiraling into a different time.
Mindfulness has a calming and relaxing effect. Living in the present, rather than the past or present, results in less painful emotions, which inherently makes you feel more calm. Doing one thing at a time with your full attention helps you feel calmer and less overwhelmed. Multitasking can be stressful and chaotic. When you start to slow down and pay attention fully, you will enjoy pleasant activities that maybe you didn’t really pay attention to before–like petting your cat or dog, cutting up some fruit, looking at a blue-jay sitting on the tree outside your window, taking a walk in the cool, crisp air, and taking a deep breath.
However, I think one of the most important aspects of mindfulness is being more accepting and less judgmental of situations and thoughts. You will feel more peaceful accepting things as they are, rather than getting upset because things aren’t how you would like them to be. Ultimately, being more calm and being more accepting helps you regulate your emotions better and increases your well-being.
The goal is to really be there when you are doing an activity–playing with a child, drinking your cup of tea, listening to someone share. Enjoy yourself while you are here now, getting out of the past and the future.
I do want to add that sometimes the present moment can be painful. For example, if someone has died recently, you might feel sad and be hurting inside. Recognizing these feelings and feeling these feelings can feel uncomfortable. But this is what is happening inside you right now–in your heart and in your mind. Being present and accepting your feelings as they are is healthy. And know that these feelings do shift and it’s better to feel the sadness now rather than delaying it by escaping into something like food and substances. I encourage you to gently take care of yourself by preparing dinner, burning some incense, listening to some music, writing down your thoughts, taking a shower, calling a friend . . . focusing on one thing at a time, being exactly where you are–in the now. The negative emotions will fade and they will resurface again, but you will be okay. Feel the feelings as they come for a bit. Then enter completely into an activity, becoming one with the activity–alert and aware. The act of mindfulness is peaceful. As the founder of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy), Marsha Linehan said, “Mindlessness is participating without attention to the task; mindfulness is participating with attention.”